Many Asian countries celebrate the lunar new year and Korea is one of them. Growing up, I never really appreciated or understood why this kind of "traditional holidays" had to be "celebrated". As a child, of course, I loved being able to eat a lot of delicious food, but years went by, I quickly got used to the same kinds of dishes being prepared for these traditional holidays every year and nothing was so "special" any more. Well, except for one thing - the 세뱃돈! 세뱃돈 is the money you get from older people (usually as a child/teenager/student) after you give them a big bow wishing them a happy and healthy year in the morning of the Lunar New Year's Day.
I didn't really mind "being there" as a member of the family as the celebration takes place each year, but after I entered a university in Seoul, going back to (or more precisely, having to go back to) my hometown city of Gwangju became a pain. (Want proof? Watch this video I made right after I got off a 17-hour-long bus ride from Seoul to Gwangju.)
But I have gotten used to that, too, over the past few years. Moreover, I would always be too busy to visit my parents as often as I'd like to, and I knew for a fact that had it not been for these "obligatory" occasions, I would be visiting my parents even less frequently. So I recently started appreciating these traditional holidays a little bit more. After all, there are only just three major occasions for me each year so far where I have to be in Gwangju to join my parents - the Lunar New Year's Day, Chuseok, and my grandfather's memorial ceremony - and I could live with that. That's not a pain for me anymore. I'm actually quite happy to see my parent and see how happy they are to see me again.
So now there seems to be just one thing left that I don't like about these traditional holidays. It's the food again. Do I not like those dishes in the picture above? Oh, yes I do! I ate all of the dishes above myself during my visit to my parents' place a few days ago. What I don't like is the fact that my mother has to prepare all those things. Of course my wife will help and my sisters will help, but still, I see too much work going into this one-time event and too many boxes of presents/fruits/snacks/dried fish being exchanged (and sometimes reused) between relatives, too much of which always ends up being "left-over". And I know a lot of Korean mothers/housewives ache all over from the extra work they do during these holidays.
When it is my turn to host these traditional events as the oldest member of the family, will I do as much work as my parents do to prepare such rituals? Probably not. Will I even host these? I'm not even sure. Would anybody be truly sad if my mother didn't prepare any food at all for the ritual and just prepared a very nice meal for the family? I don't think so. No one outside the family visits our house during the ceremony. It's just the seven of us. As long as we don't mind, no one does. Will a day come when everybody in the family agrees and says "You know what, this year, let's not do too much work for the ritual. Let's do it but simplify it. And let's spend some more time having fun and relaxing."? I am pretty sure. But when will it be? 3 years later? 5 years later? 10 years later? I don't know. I love my country's traditions and cultures, but I believe these "formal rituals" don't really matter as much as how much you care for your family.
I think I'm a little more grown up now compared to a few years ago, so I don't get to leave Gwangju after celebrating the New Year's with a bitter feeling about how little I appreciated the event, but this year, on my way back to Seoul I was thinking, "Was all that (preparation/formality) really necessary?" I'm still not sure. :) Just sharing thoughts with you all. Thanks for reading!
As an American, I have a similar feeling about Christmas. I think people tend to go overboard and sometimes forget that the best part of the holiday is simply spending time with family.
ReplyDeleteIs it just traditional that only the women prepare the food? Perhaps the men could help out. :) But I understand how it's also rooted in tradition, and my family is the same way when it comes to Christmas. No matter how much we insist that we don't need a big to-do, it took my grandma DECADES to stop spending a good month and a half on preparation for Christmas. She's the kind of grandma who apologizes for having store-bought cookies, because they should be homemade in her opinion. She likes the tradition of it.
ReplyDeleteOur family is HUGE--Grandma and Grandpa had 7 kids, and between them my aunts and uncles have over 20 kids, and now the great-grandchildren are growing in number. This year we had 50 people at Grandma's house, with the potential for it to be over 60 if everyone had made it. That's a lot of food even if you keep it simple. So Grandma in the last few years has stop insisting that we all carefully cut our Christmas presents open, and she's stopped making hundreds of dozens of hand-decorated sugar cookies, and she leaves the Christmas tree up year round so she doesn't have to worry about going up and down the stairs to put away the decorations and get them out again. We all help, but there's only so much we can all do, so more and more she's willing to pull back on the spectacle. And it ends up being more fun--we play more games, still eat as much (but more of it is store-bought), still have plenty of talking to all hours of the night after coming back from midnight mass at Grandma's church. Simpler can be better.
thanks Hyunwoo for sharing your thoughts with us :) .. waiting for more :)
ReplyDeleteAgree with you. The Lunar New Year always tire my mum the most. Since my dad is the only son in the family and my grandmum passed away few years ago. All the ritual things are on her responsible. That makes me feel sick whenever we back to the hometown. However, i believe when the family members are more or larger family. They actually enjoyed for preparing all those things. When the members are fewer.Ya, people tend to leave the work to others. But if for the big family, that was enjoyable ambience.
ReplyDeleteJust sharing my thoughts.Hehe. Happy Lunar New Year Hyunwoo=)
-Ewen from Malaysia.
Back in the US our family developed a Filipino/American adaptation to our holidays. Mainly in the foods. ex: Cesar Salad, Turkey + Mashed potatoes w/ gravy, Lumpia (filipino spring roll), and rice. Everyone in the house helps prepare the dishes. Why? Because my mom is a dictator and whatever she says goes...jk. The truth: The faster we prepare and cook the food, the faster everyone gets to eat & have fun. With that said...why be normal? Have an awesome day Hyunwoo!
ReplyDelete-Ryan Cabal
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete